What I know about love.

     I've been into 5 relationships since I was 13. My last 2 we're almost of 2 years. But all did not end well.
I'm romantic - in words and imaginations. I don't settle for temporary relationships. I want relationships that would last forever. When I enter a relationship, I would think about our marriage. I would think about where we would live. I would plan to have a house and a beautiful car. I would think of bringing my girl to a romantic place. Yes, I would think entirely of giving her everything!

    But then, I'm romantic in words and imaginations. Its more like a fantasy.

    The last time I was in a relationship, I thought 90% that she's the one. For one reason, she had things I dreamed for my ideal wife. She had introduced me into her family. We almost see each other every single day. We go to each others church. A perfect couple which I thought would spell out everything. But I was wrong. Since I went to this city to help my sister look after her kids and go for a possible job at the BPO industry, things did'nt go well for us. Science tells us the farther the distance, the lesser the attraction. Scientists were right about that. We could not keep our relationship strong anymore. From time to time, She told me that she wants to give up.  But I keep persisting to make our relationship grow. I know for one point I'm not that matured yet and that I need to grow up. But there are things that I just cant handle myself. I cant live by her standards. I just continue pretending that I'm happy even if I'm not.I thought of giving up a hundred times but afraid that Ill gonna die emotionally. But here I am now. Its just a week since we broke up but its funny that I feel like I'm unaffected. I used to check her facebook status everyday trying to see if there's another complain about me that she posted. I cant even chat freely coz she would use my account and see my chat histories and everything. What hurts me there is that she always doubts.  I never cried when we broke up. Its like after all the hurt and tears I feel when we're together, I'm brand new me.

 I know marriages are made in heaven. When God made woman, he created her from the man's rib. I know someone has a piece of me and we'll get married at the right time. I created my standards of a girl I would want to marry someday and that makes me think she's the one.
But God is in control. He has someone I deserve. She might be close, but she taught me a lot about my life and I thank her for that.

Right now I just feel great. I feel free. No troubles. No heartaches.

Whatever the future brings, only one thing is sure for me.
God is in control.